The Worst
by SaturnMax
Summary: When Fai agreed to return to Nihon with Kurogane he didn't think about how he would fit into the ninja's life, neither did Kurogane. One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa or any of the characters involved, they belong to the masterful CLAMP.

* * *

Fai sat motionless by the sliding doors that led out onto the garden, it was past midnight and everything seemed so serene outside, not even wind disrupted the scene. He had been sitting there for four hours, eyes glazed and completely still. Heavy footfalls echoed down the hall, the door to the room slid open, then closed noisily as the person walked into the room. More steps until the person was standing right behind him, he could sense a hand being raised then paused.

"_Go to sleep Kurogane_," Fai said softly, disrupting the silence.

A huff then Kurogane retreated back and went about getting ready for bed. After a few minutes silence reigned once more. Deep breathes indicated that Kurogane had fallen asleep quickly.

Fai turned to stare at the motionless body laying on the futon. When they returned to Nihon after their journey Kurogane had taken up his post as one of the princesses guards straight away, something which Fai did not begrudge him. For the first few weeks everything had been fine, they were settling into a new routine, when Fai started to see less and less of the man he didn't worry because he knew that this was what Kurogane needed, to have everything the way to was beforehand. However after two months of being there Kurogane spent nearly every waking moment with the princess or training the guards. He overtook everyone else's shifts believing that they were not good enough and came back only to sleep which was usually only four hours maximum.

Today he had awoken sometime during the night and left for guard duty, spent the day patrolling around the castle and harassing other guards, then had taken the first half of the night shift away from the originally posted guards.

With every passing day Fai believed that he was wanted less and less. It seemed that Kurogane was spending his days as busy as possible so that he did not have to be with the mage. In the beginning Kurogane had all but demanded that he come back to Nihon with him, something which Fai was very happy about, but in time he was drawing further and further away. No more fun arguments, no more strange smiles and no more side-long glances. There was nothing left of them.

Kurogane had a life here and Fai was not a part of it, that much was blatantly clear.

A sad sigh passed his lips; Fai stood up and walked across the room to where their clothes were stored. He pulled out both the clothes he got in Clow and his blue coat, along with a few that Tomoyo had made for him when he arrived, and tucked them under his arms. He gave one last sad look at Kurogane before walking over to the door; he opened it slowly before whispering, "_I love you_," then closing the door without a backward glance.

He walked down the cold corridor, holding his bundle tightly. A small tear fell from the corner of bright blue eyes, tracking its way down pale cheeks.

In the dark room bright red eyes opened staring blankly. "_I love you too_," was whispered but the one who was meant to hear was not there.

* * *

A/N: It was actually not going to be angst but it was. Okay this is meant to be one of worse case scenarios for if Fai goes to Nihon with Kurogane, they don't know how to deal with each other outside of adventuring and Kuro doesn't know how to cope so tries to back away. There were a few different ways that this could have gone, decided that I would just leave it as angst though instead of Hurt/Comfort, for the moment at least. If anyone wants I could write Kurogane going after Fai, am in half a mind to do it anyway *darty eyes*.


	2. Part two

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa or any of the characters involved, they belong to the masterful CLAMP.

* * *

_In the dark room bright red eyes opened staring blankly. "I love you too," was whispered but the one who was meant to hear was not there._

Kurogane laid there staring into the darkness all around him, the blonde head which had been with him for the past two months shining radiantly, making the night nearly as bright as the day, was not there. It was his own fault, he didn't know why he was doing it but pushing away the mage seemed to be an instinctive reaction. Everything was new between them, being in Nihon was meant to be starting afresh, however it wasn't because it was Kurogane's home. Adding someone else into his life made him feel very ill at ease and self-conscious.

After all the times he had told Fai to stop running away he was doing the same thing. He was running from the one person he wanted to protect more than anything else, and in doing so was hurting him. It was _cowardly_.

He sat up in his bed at that thought. That was something he did not want to be, a _coward_. All of this time he was only thinking about how he felt, next to ignoring the amount of pain he was causing Fai. It was selfish of him.

That's what he was, a _selfish coward_.

If he could only think of himself then he deserved to be walked out on. He wasn't worthy of having someone love and care for him. It was a good thing that Fai left, it was right for him to do. It would be good to have Fai gone from his life.

But wasn't that also selfish?

He couldn't imagine how much Fai must be hurt to want to leave him. Through it all Fai had been loyal to him, to them all, he had never done anything to hurt them (well never anything he had control over at least, there was a stabbing incident but one couldn't be held accountable for curses).

If he let Fai leave then he would no doubt be hurting for a very long time. Thinking about what he had for a short time and lost. He would end up hating Kurogane for causing him pain.

That made Kurogane pause. Hate him. He wouldn't be able to take it if Fai hated him. It was near torture when Kurogane thought he was hated after turning Fai into a vampire. But at least he had him, he was keeping him alive, making sure he was safe. If Fai left then it would be for no reason.

Maybe it was selfish, well there wasn't any maybe about it, but Kurogane would not allow it to happen.

A fast movement, and he was up, grabbing his sword and a yukata he ran out of the room, pulling the latter on as he went. There was only one place that Kurogane could think of that the mage would go before he left for good. He just hoped that he was right.

* * *

Fai looked up at the split cherry tree, bright flowers falling from its limbs. _Like tears_, Fai thought. The sound of footsteps echoed in the still night, a presence behind him, eyes watching him steadily.

He did not turn around, just stood steadily waiting for the other to make the first move.

Waiting, hoping, wishing.

That was all he had done for the last two months; hoped that Kurogane would notice him, wished for some reassurance that he was wanted, waited for the day where he was told to leave. But he had decided to take his fate in his own hands for once and left before told to do so.

A deep breath.

"I..." a pause, "I'm sorry." Fai's breath caught, he had known it was Kurogane but the words were unexpected, he couldn't turn around to face him though. The rustling of cloth and more steps towards him, edging forwards.

"You can leave if you want, but can you just hear me out first," Kurogane's voice didn't have the strong tone it usually held; instead there was a plaintive sound there. On the edge of desperation.

"Why?" was the only word Fai said, it could mean a myriad of things but he was sure that Kurogane would know what he meant.

"I... I was..._scared_," he said pathetically.

This made Fai turn and look at the man behind him. There stood the ninja, none of his usual confidence but his determination was still there. Aimed towards Fai, that made a small warm feeling rise in his stomach. Hair askew, clothes out of order and face showing desperate need, he was so different than normal but that was what gave Fai pause.

"I'm listening," Fai said quietly, making his face expressionless.

Kurogane took in a deep breath. "I didn't know what to do. How to cope with you being here, it was merging two parts of my life together, it was hard to deal with." Fai could tell how hard saying this was for Kurogane, showing this much vulnerability. "I do want you here; I _need_ you to be with me. After how I have treated you I have no right to want to keep you here. I may hurt you again but I still want you."

A moment of silence rang out between them.

"I want you too," Fai spoke softly.

"I don't deserve another chance..."

"Yes you do," Fai said, his voice cutting over what the ninja was about to say. "I got another one so you can to." At Kurogane's confused look he laughed, breaking the tension in the air. "After Tokyo," he explained, "I ignored you for months. Though my reasons were _different_, it was still wrong."

Kurogane shook his head but Fai just smiled at him, forgiving him. Fai held out a pale hand towards him which after a moment's pause was taken gently. Surprising the ninja Fai threw his arms around him when he was within reaching distance.

A hand touched the blonde head and a metal one encircled his waist. "I don't deserve you," Kurogane whispered.

"Probably not." Fai leant back and smiled up at the face which showed some wrinkles of stress over the forehead. He reached up and pinched a tanned cheek _hard_. "If you ever treat me that way again, I will turn you into a newt."

For a second Kurogane looked unsure about whether to take that statement as a joke or not, before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Fai's lips. However Fai knew that it would worry the ninja for a while, which was part of the reason he said it.

Warmth enveloped him even after their lips parted. It has taken a lot of Kurogane to go after him, even if he didn't say all the right words or wasn't very clear with communicating his feelings he meant well. If he didn't care about him then he wouldn't have even bothered coming after him, he made an effort which meant that he was being thought about. Not ignored anymore. Although they had their rough patches it should be okay now that they were thinking about each other. Plus Fai could always just turn him into a newt, just to teach him a lesson of course.

"_I love you_," Kurogane said, wrapping his arms even tighter around the mage.

Fai smiled sweetly, not having heard those precious words in so long, and tightened his own arms. "_I love you too_."

* * *

A/N: It was actually surprisingly hard to write a second part for it. You might be thinking that the Kurogane trying to win back Fai is actually a rather pathetic attempt, but I tried to make it so that it didn't matter what he said, it was the thought behind it that really mattered. Though that might not be any good, I am a bit worried about Kuro being ooc, because it is hard to make him try to speak about his feelings. I can see him just watching him go or manhandling him to stay, which I really don't think would be appropriate (especially because I am fairly sure that Fai could kick his arse). Anywho ask you shall receive, second half is done *collapse*.


End file.
